You may be a penguin if. . .

Here is John Bingham's definition:

"You might be a penguin if...

* you have to politely (for the third time) tell the men in the police car moving behind you that No you do not wish a ride.
* you wear your jog bra on top of your singlet. This is especially true if you are male.
* during a race, you keep turning around to see if there is still anybody behind you.
* the rest of the pack is out of sight before you've run 100 yards.
* you meet both the hare AND the tortoise running back towards you doing their cool-down after a race.
* the only reason you don't drop out of a race is that you're embarrassed that the police in the car behind you (closing the course) will see you.
* as you're rounding the corner onto Main Street and the finish line, you overhear the announcer on a microphone to the crowd of 500 saying "we are ASSURED the young lady IS coming in!" (Oh well, at least I was young).
* you recognize all the regular runners on your favorite route from behind.
* you get passed on the uphill by a runner pushing a double baby jog stroller.
* you shoot a 24-shot roll of film during a marathon.
* you make arrangements for a late checkout at the hotel.
* you are more worried about the porta-potty lines than the start line.
* your support crew talks about meeting you for supper, not lunch
* you have to memorize the route because you know that you will lose the back of the pack.
* the truck picking up the cones is pressing on your behind. (Don't laugh—this actually happened to me!)
* as you pass a course volunteer they ask you, "How many are behind you yet?" and you say "Behind me? Behind? Gosh ... I think two ... unless they turned around!"
* the awards ceremony is over before you cross the finish line.

For more Penguin wit and wisdom, visit JohnBingham.com.

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